I Don’t Want To Do This (Part Two)

Yeah, I still don’t want to be doing this. Well… at best, I’m divided.

I know that this is good for me; I know that it will help with my immunity and my self-image, my exhaustion, my skin and my weight. This is good, this is good, this is good.

But that doesn’t make me not absolutely crave pop (specifically coca-cola), or fast food. I can taste it and I physically ache for it.

However, I’ve done it. 7 days.  Not amazing, but a start. 7 days without pop or fast food… well, actually, maybe it is amazing…

Day 1 (Saturday) – pretty strong cravings, but I kept busy with a breakfast date and a winter festival. Chose to not drink anything at Starbucks when all I really wanted was a Jones Soda; no point in having something else just for the sake of drinking something. I didn’t feel well in the evening which was probably good, because staying home = staying away from temptation (for the most part… Boston Pizza is across the street).

Day 2 (Sunday) – I felt like absolute crap and slept all day (quite literally); no temptation when all you can keep down is soup.

Day 3 (Monday) – work makes it tough sometimes because I’m incredibly busy and don’t necessarily have/make the time to sit down and eat. I packed a lunch, but picking something up is easier than finding a microwave… but I didn’t.  I found 15 minutes to sit and eat my lunch. Work also stresses me out right now (super hectic), which usually drives me to my addictions, but I made a sandwich and soup for dinner. Hurrah!

Day 4 (Tuesday) – made it through the day (including going to the movies) without fast food or pop. Sarah’s been great about checking everyday how I’m doing with this, and suggested we get our own (healthier) snacks. They were cheaper than pop and popcorn, and tasted better, too.

Day 5 (Wednesday) – been having headaches all week, but Day 5 brought the sort that makes you want to gouge out your eyes. Made it through another movie without pop and popcorn and stopped myself from drinking coca-cola even though I knew the caffeine would stop my withdrawal headache (I don’t drink coffee or tea). Also had dinner out with Bridget without drinking pop or eating anything too horrible for me (though the samosas started some heartburn issues, which I’ve never had before… heartburn that is, not samosas).

Day 6 (Thursday) – slight headache, but not as bad as Day 5 (I’m hoping these end soon). Another crazy work day, but again made time to sit and have lunch. Dealt with the scent of pizza for about 30 minutes, and turned down a bite. I had dinner at my parents, and my Dad bought me some ginger ale (sweet man), but I said “thanks” and had water instead, citing heartburn (which is real). No need to make him feel bad, but no need for me to give up to make him feel good.

Day 7 (Friday) – a bad headache again, maybe they have nothing to do with caffeine; perhaps I have a brain parasite? Anyhow, zero time for lunch, so I ate the orange slices and granola bar that I packed and tried not to even look at the places with drive-thrus as I drove around town. I obviously need to pack more utensil- and microwave-free things in my lunches. No plans tonight, which can reduce temptation in some ways, but increase it in others. I would usually use such a night to grab something delicious that was fried and covered in cheese, drink pop and then sit on the couch and watch a movie. Tonight, however, the plan is to pick up something at M&M Meats (easy to make, but better than take-out), clean my place (to make it easier to cook and pack lunches next week) and read graphic novels until I fall asleep. Maybe I’ll have a bath, too…

So, the headaches and general crap-feeling from my body readjusting to normalcy really suck, but I’m confident that they’ll go away (eventually). I’m falling asleep faster, without the caffeine, so that’s a positive. Also, I’m proud of myself at the end of the day, which feels… well, different. I’m going to keep going with this fast.

Having announced the commitment to do this earlier on The List II has really helped me stay accountable; I think I might make it a part of my personal blog… which will be my only blog now, since this is the last challenge I had to complete.

Proud of myself for doing this fast but incredibly scared of reverting,

Jennifer

Fairly Particular Cookery

I asked my Dad to teach me how to use a gun.

Not that I plan on using one in the near future; I just think that it would be a good skill to have. You know, just in case (of the end of civilization, of the need to life off the grid, of the need to make myself seem more useful in application to a commune, etc).

He said I’d have to wait until the summer, which did not work with the timeline of The List II.

Are people seeing a theme here? Building a shed in the wilderness, wanting to learn how to knit, learning how to make my own compass, desiring gun skills… what kind of future am I envisioning for myself?

Anyhow, along that self-sufficient-die-alone-in-the-middle-of-nowhere theme, I asked my mother to teach me how to preserve food through canning.

We picked a sweet recipe, got all the ingredients ready… and then an unexpected work thing came up for my mom, and I was basically on my own. Good thing I thoroughly read my book on preserving food.  Here’s hoping it actually worked; canning is ridiculous science. Proper ratios of ingredients, temperatures, times… fairly particular cookery.

The Recipe

Beginning to Cook

Two Pots Boiling

Concoction of Delicious

Processing

The (Almost) Finished Jars

I’ll have to wait a day to see if they sealed properly, and only a bit of time will tell whether everything went perfectly (or close enough).

“Yes, I spend my Thursdays canning chutney… why, what do you do?”

Jennifer

Because You Never Know

I was going to learn how to knit. I bought a book and everything. But then I read the book, and realized that knitting is ridiculously hard, and waited for inspiration to hit. The next thing I wanted to learn, well, here, you can learn it too:

Part One

1. On a sunny or semi-sunny day (shadows must be visible), shove a stick in the ground, straight up-and-down.
2. Every once in awhile, throughout the day, mark on the ground where the end of the shadow is. By the end of the day, you’ll have a semi-circle.
3. Find the point on that line that is closest to the stick (use some thread or a shoelace or something to do this).
4. Draw a line between the stick and that point, with a big arrow at the end.
5. You’ve found north. Congratulations!

Part Two

1. Take a needle, or another straight wire-type thing, and rub a silk thread or another piece of wire along it, in the same direction, about 100 times.
2. Put your needle on a leaf or piece of paper (or something else that is light and floats), and place it in some water.
3. Your needle should now orientate itself north/south. Remember which end is north (which you already figured out in Part One).
4. Use your needle and floating apparatus to continue to check for north (since humans typically end up walking in circles).

Disclaimer

This obviously only works if you’re somewhere that has water to float your compass, and wouldn’t work if you were say, in the desert. But why the deuce are you lost in the desert without a compass or transportation?  That’s just foolish of you, wouldn’t you say?

Jennifer

Not Too Much Of A Good Thing

Technology is a beautiful thing; it really is.

It would be almost impossible to live without it.  Fire is technology.  Clothing is technology. My toothbrush is technology. Without technology I wouldn’t have a pillow to sleep on, would smell absolutely horrible, couldn’t paint or play guitar, and I wouldn’t have a job, let alone be able to get there.

I don’t have a huge issue with technology, and yet I suggested this challenge.  I enjoy technology (medicine, sewing, cookery, and on and on and on), but I have a problem when technology stands between people, or harms them, rather than helping us or bringing us together.

For this challenge, I decided to embark on a series of technology-reduced dates.  Technology was necessary for each of them (the most basic technologies including paper-making, the printing press, fire, the wheel, etc), but was not the focus of any of them. I’ve gotten tired of movies, television and even music being the focus of my social interactions, as such consumption does nothing to bring me closer to the people I’m there with. Passive entertainment be damned:

Date #1: Food and Books and Heart-To-Hearts

To celebrate the birthday of the best friend, we enjoyed in a quiet evening of food and literature (we didn’t even listen to music, people). The best friend and I are probably the absolute worst for engaging in passive entertainment . The first months of our friendship were based around movie nights, which were thankfully followed by late hours of talking so that we actually got to know each other.

Sharing the couch and reading naturally led to wonderful conversation, with topics including friendship, relationships, marriage and sex.  I haven’t felt that close to the best friend in a long time; time well spent.

Date #2: Saturday Morning Breakfast

As mentioned in I Always Wanted To Be Claudia, I enjoyed a wonderful breakfast with a lovely woman from my church. I’ve been platono-crushing on her from afar, and it was great to be able to sit across the table from her and get to know her a bit more.  Plus, we met at a breakfast place 1/2 a block away, which meant I got to walk and reduce my transportation technology!

Date #3: Byzantine Winter Festival

Miss Sarah and I checked out the 2010 Deep Freeze Festival, put on by Arts on The Ave.

It was so great! A little arts market, some Ukrainian dancing, skating (we forgot ours), ice sculptures, snow sculptures, tipis, and horse and wagon rides!  I bought a couple of super awesome wine-cork-cork-boards, loved looking at houses on the wagon ride, and really just enjoyed seeing a beautiful community at its best.

(Plus we did a little thrift-store shopping and I got some wine glasses for fancy-juice drinking)

Date #4: Bistro, Bridget, & Brains

And lastly, tonight, Bridget and I met up for coffee at Bistro 112 (and by coffee I mean that she had coffee and I had samosas and a brownie and juice), chatted and just enjoyed each other’s company.  I love meeting up with Bridget; it seems like we never run out of things to talk about. Work, church, school, sociology, psychology and a dash of generalized complaining about things, our options are really endless. She’s ridiculously smart, and has a giant heart, and complains about a lot of the same things as me. It’s always a wonderful time, really.

Jennifer

Emma & Sabino

I haven’t seen Emma Jackson de Diaz in over 10 years.  And I only met her briefly; she was just the tiny little sister of my friends Justin and Sarah.

Emma grew up (apparently), got married and is now expecting her first child in less than a month. This should be a time for celebration and anticipation, but instead it’s one of stress and worry for Emma and her husband Sabino (and their families).

Sabino is Mexican and has not only been denied entry into Canada for the birth of his child, he has been treated horribly by Canadian Immigration and their officials.

I’m standing in solidarity with Emma and Sabino, their unborn child and their families, and I’m petitioning for Sabino to be granted a temporary visa on Compassionate and Humanitarian grounds. Sabino is no risk to this country, and should be given the opportunity to be with his wife when their child is born (and also compensated for all of the absolute crap the government has put them through).

To learn more about Emma and Sabino, and to stand in solidarity with them, visit: Emma and Sabino (make sure you read “Emma’s Letter” to get the full story). Send letters, or at least sign the petition.

Jennifer

Party # 3

Most of my career has been about seeing and engaging those that are on the fringes.  Because of this, when I’m not working, I usually feel quite justified with staying inside my social comfort zone.

Regardless, I kept hoping to actually do this one at church… but then I only went once during the entirety of The List II.  Oops.

Now, looking ahead at this week, I’m seeing no social gatherings planned.  Unless someone has an impromptu party (which would be hot-awesome), I’m screwed on this one.

Or maybe not.  Let’s think backwards, shall we?

Being a Christmas child, I have to endure the sucky components attached to my birth date, but I also get some sweet benefits.  Namely, I get multiple birthday parties.  This year, I had four.

One of my parties (Party #1, the first of two family parties) was documented in Outcome: Absolutely Lovely, and while I also hosted Party #3 (the friends party), it was larger, and gave me opportunity to get a little uncomfortable.

Now, as mentioned in my hosting post, I don’t really like the hosting part of throwing a party. Especially with larger parties, I pretty much just want to go into my bedroom and close the door, or huddle somewhere with those I’m closest to.  This time I wasn’t as rude as I wished I could be, and I mingled.

I talked with those people that didn’t know anyone, including a man who probably didn’t really want to come to my party, but was brought by a mutual friend.  I got to know a couple of acquaintances better, and I was (somewhat) able to bridge my different groups of friends (though, to be honest, some of my friends are much more talented than me in this respect… and it turns out, some of them are horrible at it).

In conclusion, this one wasn’t mind blowing for me, but it was uncomfortable, and as much as I got little pleasure from it, I’m glad I did it.

Jennifer

If The Pen Is So Mighty…

“I know that it’s been awhile since we’ve spoken, but I’ve been missing you quite a bit lately, so I thought that I would write.”

Some things are too painful to share in such public forum, but I’m glad that I’ve been challenged to write such a letter.

Jennifer

I Always Wanted To Be Claudia

Last night I was wondering why I even bother making new friends.

Lately new(ish) friendships have been hurting me. Just like junior high, it’s never quite possible to make it into the clique, and even if you are accepted, you might be spit out again without notice. Like an amoeba that circles and surrounds an object, but never allows the object to permeate; eventually, the amoeba retracts its embrace, and the object floats alone again.  (I’m a melodramatic nerd, and likely paranoid as well). But…

Where is the group of friends for every occasion? Where are my Kristy, Mary-Anne, Stacey, et al? Where is my Baby-sitters Club?

I’ve got some solid friendships already, but those tend to be singular, and really, those hurt me enough as it is (and I let them down as well).  Why would I want to find a group of people that could hurt me? Why would I risk more relational pain? Heck, why even bother making friends with new individuals?

Well, hopefully because sometimes the risk pays off.

I had the pleasure of having breakfast with a lovely woman this morning. I’ll admit, I’ve been eyeing her at church.  She is quiet and composed and, well, lovely. Outwardly, she seems quite the opposite of me.

Despite apparent contrast, conversation was fluid; she is insightful and funny and open. It could be the start of a beautiful thing.  She even gave me a hug (I wanted one, but didn’t want to initiate, so I’m glad she did).

It may not result in any group inclusion, but perhaps my chances have passed for a Baby-sitters Club anyhow. I need to become okay with that. Maybe I should go read Nancy Drew instead. (Really, follow the link and read that description, the quoted part… who wouldn’t want to be that girl?).

Jennifer

I Don’t Want To Do This (Part One)

It was my bright idea to put this challenge on The List II.

And from that point, I knew what I wanted to fast from.

But here’s the thing… fasting is not fun.  To me, fasting involves sacrifice and at least a little discomfort (physical or otherwise).  If you give up something that’s easy to give up, well, yes, it’s technically “fasting,” but really, you’re missing the point.

I was going to stop eating fast food and soda pop for the entirely of The List II.  When that failed, I thought I’d at least do the January portion.  That also didn’t work, so I’m hoping some accountability (going public with my intent and whatnot) will help me with this, make it more difficult for me to give up.  For the next week, Saturday to Friday, I will abstain from easting fast food or drinking soda pop.

And I know, to some of you, this seems ridiculous, because you would never even think of touching either of these, but that doesn’t make it any less difficult for me.  These are my alcohol, my heroin, my crack cocaine.  The things I use to self-medicate and self-sabbotage.  For the past 4 months of trying to do this, I haven’t been able to go more than 1 day without one of these; the idea of even trying for a week scares me… I don’t like failure.

Jennifer

Homemade for the Holidays

It was an everything-homemade Christmas for my friends this year (still not confident enough to make things for my family), which meant a lot of sewing and painting and printing and sewing and gluing and more sewing (and still more sewing, I’m not done yet).

For some I made magnets (homemade for guys = difficult)…

… and for others I made aprons (with two lovely ladies demonstrating)

The plan was to write out encouraging messages to attach to each, but instead I’ve been trying to say something encouraging to each person as I give it.  I’m finding it’s much harder to say it… awkwardness tends to ensue.

Jennifer